I’m Not As Old As I Used To Be

When I turned 65 I knew I was officially considered a senior, yet I didn’t feel old. I was still fully engaged in my career and had no plans to retire any time soon. Now that I am retired and approaching another birthday, I decided to look into the distinctions in ages that are made after 65.

A frequently found distinction is one that divides ages over 65 into three categories: young old: 65-74; middle-old: 75-84, and old-old: 85 and over. Since life spans are increasing, I expect we will eventually need additional groups. Perhaps these new categories will be 85-94, 95-104, and 105-114, and their labels could be “older than old,” “really old”, and “unbelievably old,” respectively.

There is lots of variation in what is considered “old.” In the US you are generally considered old at 65 when you can be on Medicare. But I was happy to learn that the definition of old has changed over time, as our life span has increased. One recent study, based on life expectancy in the US, identified old as 73 for women and 70 for men. It also pointed out that a century ago, women were considered old at about 58, and men at 55—ages that are now considered middle-aged! So, my age is not as old as it used to be.

The age at which you consider someone to be old is also influenced by your own current age. Millenials (born 1981-1996) consider a person old at 59, whereas Gen Xers (born 1965-1980) tag it at about 65. This reminds me of the old Bernard Baruch quote, “old age is always ten years older than I am.” I have felt and expressed that view for many years. But the older I get, the less that seems to apply, especially since even five years older than me now seems pretty old.

When I was young I had family members who I considered old or elderly starting from when they were in their 50s.  I knew some men, like my father, who died in their 50s of cardiac-related disease, and there were other family members in their 60s and 70s who seemed weak and tired. I recently wrote an essay about my mother, describing a time in her life when she was in her 70s, and I referred to her as elderly. I stopped suddenly, when I  realized that I don’t consider myself to be elderly, even though I am in that age group. At that age my mother was frail and had diminished cognitive abilities. I don’t feel that way about myself, yet. I think my use of the word “yet” in that sentence is key to my experiences, and expectations.

And I am less concerned about getting old when I see friends and other people in their 70s and older who are actively involved in life, many still working, some dating, and others even running for President! Phrases like 70 is the new 60, or you’re only as old as you feel, are more frequently heard now, because people are living longer thanks to medical advances and healthier lifestyles.

I have decided that the belief I had that people over 50 can be considered “old” no longer applies, and in particular, negative associations should be discarded.  When I looked up synonyms for old, I found there were some terms that I prefer, like “mature” over “long in the tooth”!  I know that as I age, I will continue to go through the changes related to aging. Hopefully I will have many years ahead. For now, I intend to be fully engaged in activities I enjoy. I expect I may consider myself old once I can no longer do these activities. Furthermore, I take comfort in knowing that I am not as old as people my age used to be.