What does it mean to reach the ‘80s? There’s no escaping the fact that when you reach that decade, you are considered old. As I approached that age I became more interested in reading the obits in the NYTimes, with a focus on ages and causes of death. I was concerned when I saw that lots of folks arrive on that page in their ‘80s. But I have also seen many in their ‘90s, so I am not going to worry about it.
As I approached my ‘80s, some of the changes I experienced since retiring from full time work several years ago continued. There are declines in energy, additional aches in various body parts, and some forgetfulness. But overall, I am grateful that I don’t feel much different than when I was working. I do hear more about friends getting sick, and some needing body part replacements, usually knees or hips, but generally they recover and get back to participating in their lives. So I think that as long as I follow reasonable exercise and diet recommendations for people my age, and engage in cognitively stimulating activities, I can continue to enjoy many of my interests for a long time to come.
When I expressed some concerns about approaching my ‘80s to a same-aged friend, she hesitated and then told me “I did my best work in the ‘80s”. We both laughed, as she and I were very busy in the decade of the 1980s, active in our careers and raising children. It made it seem that the ‘80s were something to look forward to, and could be as enjoyable as they were in the past.
I heard of another friend who was being encouraged by her children to move closer to them, in another State, and go into a senior independent living facility. Still active, funny, and with a lust for life in her late 80s, her children felt that it would be good if she moved so the people she would be living among would get to know her as she currently was, before some of the declines of aging, both physical and cognitive, make their claim. A poignant, wise observation, one I thought I would file away for later, much later, consideration. I will file it in the section with information about medical alert devices. Not there yet.
I have met people in their ‘80s who enjoy life, feel they accomplished what they wanted to do, and are at peace with the thought of dying. This view always surprises me. Others, like me, are eager to explore new activities, and feel that we are at a stage where we have the freedom to enjoy doing things we didn’t have the time or resources for throughout much of our lives. Starting in my post-retirement ‘70s, I realized that for much of my time I could now choose what I want to do based on what gave me pleasure and what I felt enhanced my life. I no longer had most of my time determined by the needs of my career and a family at home.
But there seems to be a common theme across many people in their ’80s: horizons have become smaller. Infirmities, energy limitations, chronic health conditions, all have lead to changes in activities. My plans from years ago to go to China to walk on the Great Wall is no longer likely to happen, and doesn’t even seem so appealing any more. And my ability to enjoy multiple activities in a busy day—the gym, a museum, and dinner with a friend—is no longer possible. Most days there isn’t enough energy to do them all in one day, and they must be spread across several days. But I’ve come to see this as an advantage; sometimes filling the day with several activities, with little rest time in-between, reduces my ability to savor each activity.
I am ready, there’s lots to do, bring on the ’80s.
Reflections on Aging 