TO DO AND NOT TO DO

When I had a full-time job and two children at home, I prepared multiple “To Do” lists. The lists were long; they included necessary tasks related to family, work and friends. Each week I made new lists and prioritized items in the lists, most of which got done, eventually.

Now that I have retired, I still organize my week by making lists, but they are quite different. Most of the items are not necessary, they are there because I want them to be there, I choose them to be there. Even more satisfying: I don’t have a deadline.

 Some items resemble my old “To Do” lists, like shopping for food, inviting family for dinner, or calling a friend who is ill. But some of the new items have never been listed before. I also have started a “Not To Do” list.

At the end of the week I often find that I have enjoyed what I have not done almost as much as what I have done. Here are examples of my new lists, of things to do or not to do, every week.

TO DO

1. Do something at home just for pleasure that you haven’t done in the past, such as going back to bed after breakfast or spending the entire day reading.
2. Call someone you lost touch with, someone who you always cared about, but didn’t have the time to contact.
3. Acknowledge someone by expressing appreciation or really thanking them. For example, tell a close family member or friend that you love them or enjoy being with them. Or thank a stranger, someone you just meet doing errands. Tell them you like their smile or appreciate their service, and watch their face afterwards.
4. Visit a place in your neighborhood that you have passed through before but never really “seen.”  It can be a store, park, or just a street corner. Spend a few minutes there and observe what is going on.
5. Make a phone date with someone who you have difficulty arranging to see in person. Spend time with them on the phone, have a real conversation.
6. Do something by yourself that will give you a sense of accomplishment, like going to the gym or visiting a museum you are interested in, or even cleaning out a drawer. Yes, even cleaning out a drawer.

NOT TO DO

1. Don’t shower and dress as soon as you wake up in the morning. You don’t have to go to the office for a meeting. Remember, you can relax.
2. Don’t do the dishes right after dinner; they can wait.
3. Don’t wear clothes that feel uncomfortable when you are home. Pants with elastic waists can be a great source of pleasure.  
4. If you have started reading a book and you find that it doesn’t engage you, don’t read it anymore. Give it to someone else or discard it.
5. Don’t get the mail as soon as you know it has been delivered, and don’t open the bills until you are ready. But don’t wait too long to put this on your “To Do” list.
6. Don’t answer the phone as soon as it starts ringing, especially if you are in the midst of doing something. Chances are it’s one of those robocalls. If it’s important, the person will leave a message. If you are enjoying what you are doing, turn off your phone.

I wish I had discovered “Not To Do” lists earlier in life, it would have helped me focus more on what I think is important. Both kinds of lists can be helpful to you; enjoy them.