Passover Passed Over?

I have participated in an annual Passover Seder all of my life. I grew up in an Orthodox Jewish home, and my mother prepared this ceremonial meal most of her married life, until she ceded the activity to my older sister. After I married, even though my Jewish religious affiliation changed to Reform and then to Humanism, I continued this annual ritual. I looked forward to it as a special time for the entire family to come together. As an adult, I especially enjoyed reading the story of Passover in English – as a child it was in Hebrew, with little understood by any of those participating (including me).

I prepared the Seder meal when we had a home in the suburbs and continued after we moved back to NYC. Last year, in March 2020, I started planning what I anticipated would be the last Seder I would take responsibility for. Although it was fun to have the family, and sometimes friends, join together and read through the story of Passover (the Haggadah), I found that preparing a multi-course dinner for anywhere between 12 and 20 people was something I was ready to give up. I asked my newly-married daughter, Dara, who loves the Seder ritual, to take it over starting the following year, and I began planning for the upcoming  event.

The Seder was to be in early April, on the first night of the Passover holiday. But in late March, after talking with the family, we decided to cancel the in-person event. The fear of COVID transmission and warnings against large gatherings led to the cancellation, especially since some family members are seniors and some are immune-compromised.

Dara took over preparing a virtual Seder. She created a modified Haggadah, and we all prepared by having wine and matzoh ready. As is our family’s custom, we each read part of the Passover story. At the end, as we said good-bye, we discussed having an in-person Seder at my daughter’s home in 2021.  She was pregnant at the time, and we all anticipated having a new youngest family member to play with.

Much has happened over the past year, in the pandemic and in our family. COVID cases are declining and the vaccine is now widely available. But not everyone in the family has been vaccinated and large gatherings are still discouraged. And so we are planning our second virtual seder.

My daughter will again be hosting the virtual ceremony, with her new son our youngest attendee. I know that as we read about the 10 plagues described in the Haggadah, we will all be thinking of the plague that still threatens our world but that thankfully seems to be abating. 

Four members of our family contracted COVID over the past year. In the Haggadah, Passover refers to the Jews who were passed over from the consequences of one of the plagues. I am grateful that our family was “passed over” in terms of serious post-COVID consequences, and all are now almost fully restored to health. I am sad for those who were not so fortunate.

I am also reminded of another meaning of “passed over” – my daughter “inheriting” the responsibility for the Passover Seder tradition, albeit in a virtual state for now. This is a reminder that change is part of life and it is good when there are young people eager to continue family traditions.

It also seems fitting after this difficult year to celebrate the meanings of Passover as a celebration of freedom from oppression and of the coming of spring. We have all come through a difficult time- oppressive to many- and can now be hopeful that the worst is over. And next year may my family, and all others, be able to celebrate holidays together in person.

Amen.