Shedding

I always associated shedding with something animals did, like snakes shedding their skin, or dogs shedding hair. I haven’t thought about it for humans until recently, when I became aware of my own shedding activities—the involuntary and the voluntary.                  

The first to show up was hair loss. Since I always had thick hair, it wasn’t something I noticed until I reached my 70s, although it probably started well before then. First I tried products to increase hair growth, like viviscal, that contains vitamins. It worked for a while but then seemed to stop. Finding multiple strands of my dark hair on my white tiled bathroom floor daily led me to consult with my dermatologist, who recommended something that prevents hair from shedding, another attack route. I recently started a medication for that, I hope it’s effective. In any case, I’ll try to reduce this kind of shedding.

 I retired about two years ago, and I now believe that I must start shedding some of the clothes I have that I wore to the office. Twice a year I rotate my wardrobe, switching warm-and cold-weather clothes between my main and storage closets. In the past I have used this as an opportunity to select items to donate or discard. I generally kept most of what was there from the prior year, buying some new items throughout the upcoming season. But since retiring and continuing this rotation, I learned that there are suits, blouses and heeled shoes I no longer wear, they have been replaced with comfortable pants and tops, and low-heeled shoes and sneakers.  It’s time to shed those items I don’t wear and make room for things that are more useful to me.

I recently read that when snakes grow, their skin does not, so they have to shed their outer layer of skin to permit further growth and a new layer of skin emerges. This usually occurs two-four times per year, although younger snakes, due to higher growth rates, generally shed their skin more often. Their old skin is simply no longer a good fit. And neither are some of my clothes!

I can address the shedding of tangible items by reducing the amount lost, like using hair products that prevent balding, and keeping clothes for another year. Replacement is another way to impact shedding —for hair I can use products to increase hair growth or even buy a hair piece, and if I get rid of clothes I can simply buy new ones, even replacing those that I miss with similar items. These may involve some costs, but are all doable strategies.

But I have found that the process of shedding long-held ideas and concepts about myself is harder to accomplish. In past years I thought of myself as a superwoman of sorts, and readily undertook multiple activities simultaneously, including caring for my family and managing a busy career. Now retired and with grown children, many of these activities are no longer needed, and I have had to shed the idea of having limitless energy. I am replacing this with a new concept of myself—someone with more time, and with roles and capacities that didn’t seem possible before. I can plan activities I enjoy, like reading, going to the gym, and writing for my blog, without having to wedge them into an otherwise very busy day (although that sometimes still happens). And now I can spend more time with family or friends, developing greater intimacy by drawing on my life’s experiences and wisdom to help nurture and support them, and learn from them as well.  Perhaps this shedding is really trading many of my former activities for new ones, and I am creating a differently composed superwoman.

And perhaps, as it is for snakes, shedding is a good thing for me. It lets me acquire and do new things, and provides space for continued growth in the years ahead.