Props for a Closing Window

I started thinking about aging when I was in my 50s. What would I do once my children left home? How would I spend my time when I stopped working full time and my career ended? What would provide meaning in my life? I didn’t worry too much about it then because my life was full with family and work, and I believed I had lots of time left. “Aging” seemed far off.

I have reached that stage. My children left home many years ago and both are happily married and in careers they find fulfilling.  Over two years ago I retired from a successful career as a research scientist. I am financially stable, and my husband and I are generally healthy. Lucky for us on both these counts.

Sounds perfect, doesn’t it? So what’s my dilemma?

I find myself thinking about what’s to be done with the time remaining. I now see my lifetime as having been an open window, that is now slowly inching down as the months and years go by. How do I prop up the window to keep it open longer, or slow the rate of closing? With the persistent COVID pandemic about to enter its third year, my concerns about how much space is left as the window closes have increased. Now that 2021 is coming to an end, it seems a particularly good time to see what props for keeping the window open I can bring to the new year.

• In an earlier blog post, I wrote about the concept of “successful aging.” This consists of three components: avoid disease, function at a high level (cognitively and physically), and be actively engaged in life. I have been working at all of these. I have learned that keeping the window open is not just about doing certain things, it’s also about not doing things that are likely to accelerate the window’s closing.  So I moderate my food and alcohol intake, and avoid or not get too stressed with people or events that give me angst.
• Improve my life by appreciating what I have. Although a trite sentiment, this has truth for me. I see it like window cleaning… it won’t change the view, or even impact how long I can keep the window open, but it’s nice to have a clear view out, even while the window is coming down. And I enjoy my view. In addition to family, friends, and the activities I love, I can see sky, river, lights in the distance, and feel the immensity of the world. Sometimes I even forget about the descending horizontal strip at the bottom of the window frame.
• Don’t worry about the time passing… the years will accumulate and bring their consequences. Paying attention to components of successful aging, and encouraging my friends to do so, can keep us all well longer.
• Use my experience and empathy to support and encourage family, friends, and others I care about, to help them in their lives. This adds meaning to my life, and may even help them keep their windows open a little longer.
• Continue to try new things. Exploring new interests and people will bring new light into the window. My life has been filled with lots of scheduling of my time, and certainty about some beliefs… time to venture out.  

So my conclusion for my dilemma is to use multiple props to keep the window open, and to sometimes even stick my head out. Perhaps I can keep it open a little longer… or even nudge it up a bit. I might even give a call out to others who I see trying to keep their windows up too, and learn from their props.