For the Duration

Sometime in her 50s, my mother started using the expression “for the duration.” She used it when referring to something that she purchased that she anticipated would last the rest of her life, like a piece of furniture. It helped her justify the cost, as she would never need a replacement. It made me smile when she said it, because we all knew that she only said “for the duration” to allay her discomfort in buying something expensive. But both she (and I at the time) never expected that the end of “the duration” was anywhere in sight.   

I first started using the term in my 60s, when I needed some expensive dental work, including implants. The cost seemed quite high to me, but I readily agreed to the procedures once I realized that they would be “for the duration.” I knew the implants would be useful to me for the rest of my life.

And I have been thinking about this phrase even more since retiring from my full-time work as a research scientist. Not anticipating any more major life changes— like career changes or household moves—I sense I am now living in “the duration” for me.

 I have decided to view this as a time of opportunity. I had a successful professional life and made some important contributions to my field, and I raised children who are happy and productive in their lives. So I am done with some of life’s major milestones. My husband and I are in good health and financially comfortable, so I can see “the duration” as one with many possibilities and choices.

Not to be somber, but at the very end of her life, my mother lay in a coma for over a year, with a feeding tube going directly into her stomach. This was her final “duration,” but unfortunately one in which no more choices could be made.  I have decided to welcome this time in my life, a time in which I can make so many choices- including about the work I do, people I am with, and places I go.

There are some things that surround me that I hope will continue to be there, like dear friends and family, and good health. And I will no doubt lose some of these. There are other things likely to be there for the duration that I will always cherish- art, photos and books that I have collected over the years. And there are even some things likely to stay with me that are no longer of any use –like favorite clothes items that are too small, fancy dinner serving pieces and old tax documents.

And there is a Yiddish expression that my mother used that I find helpful – khap arayn (kh pronounced with a guttural kh sound) – that literally means “grab it in” or colloquially, “seize the opportunity.” In other words, enjoy the good things in life while you can. So that’s where this takes me. I plan to do that for the duration.