Comforts of Life

As I get older, I am more aware of my “comfort objects.” These are items that I am familiar with and that I know I like. They help me feel relaxed and calm, as if my needs, and any hurts, are being taken care of.  I find that just their presence is comforting, providing solace if anything upsetting is happening in my life.

Certain foods provide examples of these. Like having Rice Krispies cereal with raisins for breakfast or a hot dog on a bun, with mustard and sauerkraut, for lunch.  How plebeian, non-gourmet and somewhat unhealthy these are! They make me feel a little guilty because I know, and generally eat, better choices. But there is something about these foods that are tied to pleasure for me from childhood. Perhaps because when my harsh, non-demonstrative mother went food shopping, she infrequently brought me home a hot dog for lunch. I liked the taste and I saw it as a much sought-after expression of her love. It also helped me feel closer to her, and more forgiving. And it still brings me comfort.

For my husband, Doug, a grilled cheese sandwich served with a cup of tomato soup fills the same niche. When he is tired or after a challenging morning, this lunch comforts and soothes him. He remembers this as a favorite when he was growing up, and perhaps he too associates it with maternal love as well as nourishment. 

But it’s not just foods that are comfort objects. Doug and I also have our comfort TV shows. We like reruns of Law and Order, especially the earlier episodes… the familiarity of the plots, the characters, and the music, can all give comfort. And when Lennie Briscoe (Jerry Orbach) makes a sarcastic remark about a suspected criminal or Jack McCoy (Sam Waterston) makes a self-righteous speech about ethical issues, it makes me feel like there is goodness and justice in the world.  Marathons of this show mean that we can watch several episodes in a row, lulling us into a state of stupor, where the day’s unpleasantries can be briefly forgotten. Doug also likes NCIS reruns, and I can find comfort in a Mets baseball game. Fortunately we have two TVs, so when needed, we can engage in our own pleasures.  

Clothes too are comfort objects for me. As a professional I often wore suits to work, always wore nylon stockings, and often wore heels, all clothes that I found somewhat constricting. Since retiring  I never wear suits, and stockings and heels only come out for special events like weddings. I still dress what may be called business casual or smart casual when I am out of the house, but when I am home, a comfortable polo shirt, sweatpants, and a hoodie when it’s cool, are my favorites.  I love the feel of the soft clothes on my body, with no restraints on my movements. Although these items are called activewear, and sometimes I wear them to the gym, I mostly wear them when I am not at all active, and just spending the day at home.

My conclusion – Comfort objects are available in many areas of my life. Although exploring new experiences, including new foods, TV shows, and fashions, are nice to do, sometimes familiar comforts are what’s needed.