Downsize-Upsize

I have associated the word downsizing with life changes, like a reduction in the number of employees in a business or moving to a smaller home. Both seemed like actions that could lead to reduced costs and greater efficiencies. But the benefits are not always so clear.

Several years ago I moved from a four-bedroom suburban home to a two-bedroom apartment in the city, giving up a finished basement, a formal dining room and a large back yard. The move involved considerable downsizing.

I also gave up a 90-minute commute to work.

But I traded my larger home living space for the sites and conveniences and activities that Manhattan had to offer. I definitely saw it as upsizing (though I miss the closets).

I also acquired about two hours in every day when I was not commuting on a bus. Definitely upsizing there too.

As I age I am finding more up/down sizing happening in my life. Some don’t involve much of a change, but for others, the outcome has been mixed.  

Getting shorter is a literal experience of downsizing. I was surprised recently when my doctor told me I was 5’2 “, which meant I lost over two inches from my adult height. But I don’t mind – it makes my grandchildren seem even more mature and older when they are next to me. Also, I had always liked having a husband who was just a few inches taller than me, and this difference has remained – he has lost about three inches too. 

I recently gave up a parking space I paid for in my building, and am selling my car.  Neither my husband nor I drive anymore, and there are lots of public transportation services available in Manhattan, including buses, taxis and other ride-hailing services. We have mixed feelings about giving up our car- it provided some sense of independence and freedom, to go anywhere.  But we no longer have the expenses of parking and car insurance. I’m not sure if this is up- or down-sizing.

And what about the memory losses that are a normal part of aging? Is this loss another aspect of downsizing? We recently bought my husband a new computer, going from 4GB to 16GB of memory. At first I thought it would be great if I could also quadruple the memory in my brain. Then maybe I could remember everything. But while remembering all the joyous times would be wonderful, being able to forget past hurts and angers can be comforting and reduce stress. This is one example of downsizing where I would want to carefully pick and choose what I am taking with me. 

My retirement from work several years ago involved downsizing, and initially reduced my daily sense of accomplishment and purpose. But having time for other activities I enjoy, doing volunteer work with immigrants, and coming into a post-COVID time of greater engagement in life, has been an extensive and positive upsizing. But being more at home during COVID times led to some personal upsizing – in my weight! That’s one area where I want to change direction and will be downsizing for sure.   

So what have I learned from sizing up (ouch!) these changes? Size doesn’t matter. I am likely to experience expansions and reductions throughout my life, and this will apply to many things, including my possessions, activities, and weight. But taking charge of what is happening, to influence the direction and its contents, is the challenge.