Birthing for Seniors?

 My daughter is pregnant and will soon give birth to her second child. She is healthy, all seems to be going well in the pregnancy, and hopefully a normal healthy baby girl will soon join our family.

I gave birth to two children many years ago. The pregnancies were normal, the children were healthy, and they have grown to be happy, successful adults. And other birthing events occurred in my professional career. As a research scientist I “birthed” many projects and research papers. Gestation for delivering the findings often took several years, and had several steps: develop the idea for a project, write the proposal, get funded (return to step one if not successful), implement the project, collect and analyze the data, and publish papers on the research results. As I think is true of many birthing experiences, the process was sometimes frustrating—like when data collection proved difficult, sometimes satisfying— when the findings were important, and sometimes even joyous— when writing came easily and I was “in the zone.”

Now in my 70s, I have been writing personal essays for several years, and am in the process of putting together an anthology of some of them. I think about this as part of a senior birthing process—different, yet a continuation— of birthing throughout my life stages.

For me, senior birthing has been mainly through developing new projects. After writing many essays, they seemed ready for an anthology “Not Done Yet: The Humor of Aging.” This has involved several steps in gestation: writing the essays over several years, selecting and editing those that I wanted to include, finding a publisher and appropriate artwork, and determining methods of distribution. This process has helped me see that various types of creation and production, whether of a child, a research paper, or a book, can be a fulfilling process of birthing. And there are many similarities across these creations- they require substantial time, and involve frustrations, pleasures, and learning opportunities.  Often, birthing and delivery are part of a longer process, like raising a child, or building a line of research.

I started thinking about what other kinds of birthing seniors can do.  Using the meaning of birthing as creating or producing something that was not there before, there are many ways to do this. Some are quite tangible and contained – like writing a poem, or knitting a sweater. Others can be tangible but may require longer time commitments, like writing a novel or building a bookcase. And there are many that are not tangible, but also create things that can bring satisfaction and are long-lasting, like reaching out to a friend or relative to deepen a relationship, or initiating a new relationship. I find that since retirement I have more time, and choices, for generating ideas about what I would like to do, the first step in my birthing process. And the sources of ideas for what I want to write about, or what new activity I want to do, can come from many places – just being active in the world, even taking a walk in a new neighborhood, and interacting with others, can lead to new ideas.

Certainly there are lots of things to do in retirement, including efforts to stay healthy and to manage some of the concerns that aging brings, like exercising and visiting more doctors. When health problems arise, my own or those of loved ones, substantial time may be needed for medical attention. But at least so far these have been contained, and I hope they never become my main activities. My family and some friends are generally pleased, yet sometimes surprised, that I expect to continue developing plans for new projects – writing and other interests. But I have concluded that creating something where there was not something before—birthing —is an important part of all of life’s stages, including now that I am a senior. I hope to continue that for as long as I have.