Congratulating Myself

After retiring from my career as a research scientist, I looked forward to having more leisure time to do some things I was always too busy to do while working.  My days filled up quickly, and despite there being times when I had to do things I didn’t really want to do – like doctor’s visits for me or my husband – for the most part, I did activities I chose to do, like writing essays, visiting cultural sites in NYC, and seeing friends. This felt good, and freeing from the constrictions my work life held.

Surprisingly, however, I also found that there are some things I don’t want to do, but I do them anyway. Sometimes this feels satisfying, but sometimes they are just things I feel I need to do.  So I have decided to congratulate myself for doing them. Here are some examples.

I had several boxes and bags of papers that I needed to review, and I kept putting that off. I recently added a bag with papers from my 2023 taxes to this collection, and I know I needed to review it to see what to throw out and what to file away. That bag sat in front of my desk for several weeks, and I finally did it! The bag was gone! Although there are still other papers to review, I took pleasure from looking at the vacant space I created and wanted some acknowledgement of that. But I knew that visitors to that room could not appreciate or acknowledge what I had done, since they didn’t see it before, and wouldn’t appreciate what I had accomplished.  I decided to congratulate myself, and take pleasure from the space I created.  

I thought of losing a few pounds for many years, sometimes making efforts to cut back on calories.  Recently I became more serious about weight loss, and followed a restrictive regime for about two weeks – including lowering carbs, and not eating after 8PM.  I lost six pounds. I was proud of myself but realized that this accomplishment would not be appreciated by anyone else. I don’t look different, my clothes don’t fit any differently, and even if I lost a few more pounds, now that I am a senior and my body has changed, it would never return to the figure I had as a young woman. But I’m glad the few pounds are gone, and I plan to continue the effort.  Yea for me!

And one more example is based on the fact that I never enjoyed cooking, but I sometimes still do it. My husband retired from his job before I did, and enjoyed cooking for us while I still worked. Coincidentally, his interest in cooking stopped around the time that I retired! So the task was transferred back to me. It continues now that he has several health conditions that prevent him from preparing meals. So I often look for easy solutions for our dinners. We order in food about once a week (often Italian or Chinese cuisines), and this usually provides two nights of dinners for us. There are many frozen prepared meals that we like, and have about once per week. And I discovered the joys of the roast chicken available at my local supermarket. This usually covers another two nights of dinners. But once or twice a week I still do the whole works, including special food shopping for the dinner, cooking, and cleaning up. The dishes are not elaborate, often a simple salmon or chicken entree, with appropriate side dishes, but nonetheless the meal takes substantial time from beginning preparation until the dishes are in the dishwasher. It seems to fulfill my need to feel I can still make a home-cooked meal. And I congratulate myself when it’s over.

I have come to the conclusion that there are some activities which I may not enjoy doing, that may not be appreciated by others, and won’t change my life much, but I choose to do them anyway.  I don’t have to do them often, and I plan to congratulate myself when they are done.